da bet nacional： Like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Britain’s Got Talent and that itchy rash just below my panty-line, The Roundabout is back – filled with more tall transfer tales, ridiculous rumours, shoddy stories and alliterative adjectives than ever before!
da bet sport： Well, not quite. It’s actually been a fairly usual day at the office; Gunther had Bratwurst soup for lunch, Hardeesh treated us all to a twenty-minute oboe solo and Claudia recited a very interesting poem about the perils of playing pooh sticks in 17th century Turkey; so as per usual, we’re shoving the greatest, the worst and the most mediocre transfer rumours from today’s tabloids into one notably shabby corner of the internet.
Putting The Roundabout’s hyperbolic collider into hyperdrive is news that Moody Sissoko is getting very moody once again, as Newcastle United stare the embarrassment of a season in the Championship in its ugly, overtly English face. The France international has asked his agent to find a new club, with West Ham and AC Milan reportedly interested.
Down in ye old English capital, Arsenal are confident of beefing up their midfield with a player as hard as his own first name in Borussia Monchengladbach skipper Granit Xhaka, whilst Tottenham Hotspur are intent on signing the German international with the least German name ever in Shkodran Mustafi but face rather sizable competition in the form of Barcelona.
Meanwhile, in brilliant news for Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City, Manchester United, Tottenham Hotspur, Liverpool, Barcelona, Bayern Munich, Juventus and well… just about everybody except for Borussia Dortmund, the agent of Ousmane Dembele has slapped the spit out of a journalist’s mouth for daring to claim his client is about to move to Westfalenstadion. Well, not exactly, but he did ‘categorically deny’ – which in the world of intentionally ambiguous agent quotes is as about a strong and clear a statement as kicking someone right in the Gary Kellys.
In other news, Romelu Lukaku is ready to ditch Everton for Chelsea, who he ditched for Everton back in summer 2014 after realising he wasn’t quite as good as Diego Costa. How times have changed, a Lukaku-ite may argue. But personally, I’ve always got time for a striker who has the face of a man just returning from the Syrian front yet still scores twenty-odd goals per season.
Peace out.
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